Monthly Archives: July 2012

Top Twenty Olympic Songs #15 – #11
29
Jul

Don’t tell my sport-phobic wife or she will never let me live it down, but after a day of obsessively switching between football, swimming, archery (yes, archery!), rowing and equestrianism (which sounds a Bit Rude frankly) I have room for this thought.

The Olympics may have actually peaked with the admittedly magnificent Opening Ceremony.

Maybe I will rekindle my love for sport on the days to come, who knows?

Numbers 15 down to 11 of the Top Twenty Olympic songs are as follows.

15 – Rowing

I have to admit I enjoyed watching the women’s rowing this morning. Coxless pairs.

There aren’t too many songs about rowing out there and it was either Patty Griffin’s loverly “The Rowing Song” or the only tangentially rowing-related “Misery Is The River Of The World” by Tom Waits.

It took me quite a while to make the final choice but I finally decided that Tom Waits for no man.

14 – Sailing

Continuing on the watery theme, another sport we are quite good at is Sailing. And by “we” I mean the 1%, obviously. Plenty of songs to choose from here. The obvious one is the Rod Stewart number but I won’t go there – may give you the full reasons why I hate that song so much in a future blog entry.

I’m going with an early 70s song by the Beach Boys which doesn’t get played so often. Its not really up to their sixties heyday but it’s still better than bloody “Sailing”.

13 – Swimming

Finally in this evening’s aquatic segment – Swimming.

Glad to see while watching tonight’s pool action that they’ve outlawed those stupid full-length body armour swim-bling costumes, ostensibly because they give an unfair speed advantage but of course we all know that the only reason 95% of us tune in at all is to see some well-toned flesh, only they’re not allowed to admit that is the reason.

I never really appreciated this band when they were ubiquitous and played far too much on the radio, but much like the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, when they come on the radio its always a pleasant surprise how good they could be – when you don’t hear them all the bloody time.

12 – Table Tennis

Who doesn’t love a bit of ping-pong? All sports should be named after the noise they make. Archery would be “phht-thud”, swimming would be “splish-splosh” and rugby would be “thwack-ouch”.

Gilberto Gil was the man who introduced reggae to Brazil (a Good Thing) with his version of Bob Marley’s “No Woman No Cry” (a Bad Thing).
But we can forgive him because he also did this charming and catchy song about a table tennis table.

All together now “Table tennis table, ping pong, I and I”

11 – Weightlifting

Weightlifters are hard. They train until their hands and arms bleed, literally (or it isn’t counted as a good session).

I am particularly looking forward to seeing Khadija Mohammed competing for the UAE – a country which is a bit less hardline in its attitudes to women than, say the Saudis. Good luck to her – she won’t win, but her presence is symbolically more important than any medal.

And I’m going with a slightly less mainstream song to end with today from experimental collective The Residents. Not as weird-sounding as it was in 1971, but still pretty odd. “Weighlifting Khadija” would havebeen perfect, but its called “Weightlifting Lulu”.

That’s it for now. Numbers 10 down to 6 next time, as well as a few of the sports that didn’t make it, and why. Handball, my arse.

Top Twenty Olympics Songs #20 – #16
28
Jul

Why are people proud of something that is an accident of birth? I’ve never really “got” patriotism. Sure, I get as worked up about the England football team as the next overgrown schoolboy, but that’s about as far as it goes.

Don’t get me wrong, I love living in Britain, and London in particular, and there are a lot of great things about the country.

But it’s only twice in my life that I have I felt truly proud to be British, and both times involved “Chariots Of Fire”. The music is just so damn evocative … (written by Vangelis, a Greek!)

The first time was when I saw the film at the old Elephant And Castle Odeon in 1981 (on a double bill with “Gregory’s Girl”).

The second time was during last night’s incredible Olympics Opening Ceremony.

Fourteen hours after it finished and I’m still a little too overwhelmed to properly digest it all, so I will leave that to a future blog. But I will say that Danny Boyle included all the things that make me .. gulp .. proud to be British!

For now, with the Lympics in full flow on Day 1, here is the first part of my Olympic Top Twenty countdown.

Now I could have gone all obvious but I chose not to. At least, not here.

Check out Tony’s Really Obvious Jam For Olympics Week if its obvious you want!

No, I’ve gone for one song relating to each of the participating sports.

Now there are technically more than twenty sports in the Olympics. But I’ve limited it on the following grounds.

1. Nobody has ever written a song about handball, neither are they likely to.

2. Including Judo would involve excrutiating puns that are below even me, such as Smokey Robinson’s “You Really Got A Hold On Me”, and I’m after something different.

3. Beach volleyball is not a sport and you should all be ashamed of yourselves for watching it. If its scantily clad people with beautiful bodies you want, then try the Athletics, the Swimming or indeed, the Rest Of The Internet.

And so to part one, numbers 20 to 16.

20 – Equestrianism

Specifically Dressage, which has fascinated me today (albeit only for a few minutes).

It basically is exactly what the song says. Horses. Dancing. How cool is that?

Not a huge fan of the Bunnymen tbh although I did see them supporting the Teardrop Explodes at Sheffield University around 1979 or so.

Unfortunately I was too drunk to fully appreciated two of the most influential bands of the next few years. Just say no, kids.

19 – Taekwondo

I know nothing about Taekwondo other than there is quite a lot of kick-boxing in it.

I also know nothing about this band, but this song is a brilliant piece of nu-prog.

18 – Fencing

Derived from the highly dangerous activity of French noblemen settling disagreements by duelling. Pistols or swords? Well, if my opponent chose swords, I’d definitely go for pistols.

One of my least favourite of all the Olympic sports, but this gets in because this song by Tenpole Tudor is fantastic – years before singer Ed Tudor-Pole achieved greater fame as Richard O’Brien’s successor on “The Crystal Maze”.

17 – Archery

I was at Sheffield University around the time ABC first charted, and Martin Fry was a regular figure around the campus. He once tried to push in front of me in a newsagent’s, but I stood my ground.

True story.

This is from “The Lexicon Of Love”, what a great first album that was.

I’m loving Jonathan Agnew’s commentary on the Archery from Lord’s. The man can make anything sound momentous and interesting, in a very silly British way. Only thing missing is summaries from Vaughnie and Tuffers.

16. Wrestling

This is a song called “Let’s Wrestle” by a band called Let’s Wrestle. It concerns wrestling.

Superb, funny, ballsy band with great tunes and the odd excellent turn of phrase. Their first album was called “In The Court Of The Wrestle Let’s”, to which all old King Crimson fans will nod knowingly.

One of the top wrestling nations is Kazakhstan. When you’re watching the wrestling, something to think about is that all the competitors in the ancient Greek Olympics were naked. Go on, imagine that.

Next up, the countdown from 15 down to 11. Some absolute classics in there. See you then. Comments welcome, it’d make a change from the spammers.

Drink Up Thee Zyder
14
Jul

The Wurzels – Walkabout, Bristol Thursday July 5th

It was a good time to be fourteen in the long, hot summer of 1976.

I was living in London and just discovering that not only were these things called “girls” actually quite interesting, some of them seemed to be interested in me, too…

The soundtrack to that summer was provided by such quality acts as John Miles (“music was my first hit – and it will be my last”), Showaddywaddy (“Under The Moon Of Love”) and Abba.

All very safe, and very dull. It was time for a change, a new sound. A sound from the streets that would make people sit up and take notice. A sound that would define a generation. Once you heard this song, nothing would ever be quite the same again.

 

 

The Wurzels had been going since 1967 as Adge Cutler And The Wurzels. Adge sadly died in a car crash in 1974 but just as Joy Division were later to morph into New Order and create a more commercial sound, so too did The Wurzels carry on.

They began to mess around with the lyrics of old hits and scored massively with the above Combine Harvester, which went to No. 1, I Am A Cider Drinker and Farmer Bill’s Cowman.

I found out years later that the actual immediate follow-up single to Harvester was “One For The Morning Glory”, the subject matter of which meant it was pretty unlikely to garner any airplay. It DID get on “The Arrows” teatime pop show on ITV though.

As a snotty kid from Sarf Lunnon watching Top Of The Pops, they seemed to come from another planet – far more so than the Sex Pistols.

The Wurzels enjoyed something of a renaissance in the noughties with their covers album which mocked their former rivals with its clever play on words in the title and cover.

West Cuntry Music at its finest

This included the likes of “Chelsea Dagger” and “Oo Ah Just A Little Bit” (Yes it works. Sing it in a West Country accent . See?) as well as possibly their finest hour – a cover of Oasis’s “Don’t Look Back In Anger” which is every bit as great as it sounds in your head.

They also did a split single (on good old vinyl) with the mighty British Sea Power on which they covered BSP’s “Remember Me” while BSP did a scuzzed out take on “I Am A Cider Drinker”

Incredibly, the Wurzels are still going strong today with two of the classic ’76 line up

I managed to get two tickets cheap from Sally at work for their gig at the Walkabout in Bristol. I have no idea where she gets these things from. Its best not to ask.

After a couple of rejections for the second ticket I eventually twisted the arm of old rocker Dave – ten thousand CDs and two ex-wives, an encyclopediac knowledge of rock music up to about 1985.

They were fantastic. Really tight band, as you’d expect from the time they’ve spent together. They did the hits, and a LOT of the old songs, which are mainly either about (i) drinking cider, (ii) shagging or (iii) both.

Except one about the Pill ferry, a fantastic take on all those folk songs about waving your loved one away on a ship – except that this one just goes to the other side of the river and back 8=)

I was expecting the audience to consist of fat old men like me and Dave but no! They were mainly twenty-somethings and teenage girls.

The band, undeterred by the age gap, engage in a good deal of lewd flirting with the girls, who seem to love it.

Fair play to them.

The drummer was introduced as “79 years old – the oldest drummer in captivity” and I can well believe it.

One of them did a striptease towards the end of the set, and for the first time in a while, I wished I still took a drink. Then I may have a fighting chance of forgetting the image one day …

They encore with the disco remix of “Harvester” and their version of the Kaiser Chiefs “Ruby”. No “Oo Ar Just A Little Bit”, unfortunately but you can’t have everything. Glad I finally saw them, but from the vim and vigour of the performance, I’m guessing they’ll be around for a while and there will be a few more chances yet.

Drink up thee zyder me babbers …

This is a clip from the gig courtesy of that internet. You can see Dave on the left in the Feist T-shirt. Don’t the band sound great?

Laibach and enjoy it
4
Jul

Croatia’s Euro 2012 came to a gallant end when they were pipped to a quarter-final place by eventual runners-up Italy, purely on the basis of having scored less goals against Ireland (but conceded less too … don’t even get me started on how wrong goal difference is as a means of separating teams level on points)

Croatia (formerly part of Yugoslavia of course) has a fine tradition of pop music – here’s a few examples.

First up is Ivo Robic. He was a singer in that fine, melancholy, Euro MOR style known as schlager. Ideally, you have to be over 40 and a little bit drunk to appreciate schlager music.

He wrote and performed this song. You may recognise the tune – it was translated for Frank Sinatra into that song about a dog.

Ivo had a massive international career, making it big in Germany and France. What a voice – if he’d sung in English then he would have been huge over here too.

Novi Fosili were a pop group from Zagreb. This was the 1987 Yugoslavian Eurovision Song Contest entry, which criminally only finished fourth. John Peel played it on the radio. I swear I am not making this up.

This actually marked the start of Peel being featured as part of the BBC’s Eurovision coverage as an ironic counterpart to Terry Wogan.

And from around the same era, Laibach got a bit of attention in the U of K with their heavily ironic (one hopes) fascistic takes on pop songs.

Once you’ve heard this take on  jaunty 80s classic “Live Is Life”, originally done by Austrian hair-metal rock/popsters Opus, you will never be able to listen to the original again.

They also did a number on Queen’s “One Vision”.

I could go on and on about Laibach … great band, and without them there would be no Rammstein.

Depends on your POV as to whether you think this is a good thing, I suppose.

Finally, for balance, a Croatian hip-hop band called Elemental.

 

Oh, and if you don’t believe that “Strangers In The Night” is about a dog, check out the bit right at the end when Frank sings :
“Scooby dooby doo, be dooby dooby
Scooby dooby doo, be dooby dooby …”

(* sigh *) Ja ću dobiti moj kaput …